"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
Recently, I had the pleasure of celebrating an anniversary with my husband. As I reflect on the last year I can’t help but see how God was in our untraditional courtship and marriage. For those of you who aren’t familiar with our story I met my husband June 1st and we were engaged July 3rd. Yes, that’s only a 33 day courtship. I constantly tease my husband about this because on our first date he assured me his plan was not to marry anytime soon. As quick as it was I wouldn’t change it for the world. Looking back over the year I learned a few things about marriage.
1. God’s plan for your marriage is always bigger and better than yours
If someone would have told me that my husband would be the “cool guy” and football would be a part of my life forever I would have declined. I am nerdy and proud and I am as unathletic as they come. My husband didn’t fit my “What I Want in a Husband List”. He didn’t have dark hair, he wasn’t nerdy, or 6ft 1in. However, God with all his love and humor saw fit to send me a man who not only is a football coach but is a gentlemen, loving, adventurous, and funny. I am pretty sure I got the better end of the deal with God’s list.
2. Communicate and Listen
My Bachelor’s degree is in Communications and Masters in Counseling so I have always prided myself on understanding the importance of seek first to understand then be understood. However, when I got married I didn’t grasp how much of what you understood changes when you truly began to understand where the other person is coming from. What I mean is as I really begin to focus more on understand where my husband was coming from and integrating it into what I understood to be true than holding on to how I understood the situation the easier it became to let the small things go and our ability to communicate effectively with each other grew.
3. Adapt, Change, Grow
The biggest thing marriage has done for me is allowed me to truly see myself. It’s given me to the ability to see the good and bad sides of myself and choose whether to change or stay the same. I have always been fascinated by the husband and wife dynamic of each couple I meet. I have always watched and listened to the way couples talk about each other in and out of each other’s presence. One thing I have always noticed is that happier couples are always willing to adapt and change and powerful couples are always able to be honest with each other. As I reflect on my own marriage I understood why it works. It works because it reaffirms that you are a unit and team. It affirms that your words have value and your spouse respects you and your opinion. This model also assures that you are growing as a person. In business when you fail or are lacking in a certain area you change so your company grows. Marriage is the same way. You adapt, you change, and your marriage grows.